Monthly Archives: February 2011

Just Listening May Be The Most Powerful Thing That You Can Do

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pthibodeau/3278938496/

Like a lot of other churches in America, we have this thing at mine called “Pastor on Call.” Basically all of us take a turn be “on call” for anyone that calls, emails, or stops by the church wanting to talk to a pastor. Typically I do this about every three weeks.

A few weeks ago I had a lady come in to talk to me with one of the most horrible stories that I have every heard. I won’t go into all of the details but it was without question one of the most intense encounters that I have every had with a human being in my entire life. I took a cue from Job’s friends and just sat there and listened to her.

For almost an hour I listened to her life of abuse and abandonment, going all the way back to when she was just three years old. She couldn’t stop crying, yelling, and cussing as she told the story of how she had been abused by her parents, her husband, therapists, pastors and so many other people. If ever there was someone with a good reason to be angry at God it was this lady.

I had no idea what to do to help her. What she was going through was galaxies out of my experience and skill set. Usually there is something that I can do; an encouraging word, scripture, practical next steps, or some counseling recommendations. This wasn’t going to cut it with her. I was terrified.

When she was all done there was a long silence. It felt like forever. As I was about to say something (I have no idea what) she said the most helpful thing of all: “Thank you for just listening. You have no idea how much that helped me. I think that’s what I needed today more than anything else.”

Sometimes just listening may be the most powerful thing that you can do for another human being. It’s not flashy or cool, but it’s more helpful than we realize.

When has just listening to someone been the most helpful to both you and them?

–Jeff

5 Ways to Get Volunteers onto Your Children’s Ministry Team

The Secret Handshake

I try to do these things when looking to invite volunteers into kids’ ministry (especially men):

1. Use cool fonts and colors for flyers
No pink papers or girlie fonts. Just about every children’s ministry that I know has problems getting guys onto their team. A big reason for that is because most CMs are marketed to women, by women. If you want to get guys on your team you have to target them intentionally and that starts with how you promote your ministry.

2. Ask current volunteers to invite their friends
Word of mouth is the best way to grow your team. Make volunteering a great experience for your leaders and they’ll want to tell their friend about it. Keep making it a great experience for their friends and they’ll start telling THEIR friends.

3. Share stories with about how others are making a difference in CM
This is especially true when trying to get more men on your team. The more stories men hear about other men serving in children’s ministry the better. That let’s them know that this important to other guys and they won’t be on an all girl team.

4. I remind people that they don’t have to be great teachers
They don’t even have to be teachers at all. Sometimes having adults just hanging out with a group of kids each weekend is the most powerful ministry out there. Don’t underestimate its potential to radically impact young lives for Christ.

5. Lastly, and most importantly, I cast the vision for what CM really is
It’s not about crafts and games, memorizing verses, or learning Bible stories. It’s about lowering the high school drop-out rate over the next decade by giving kids a godly mentor now. It’s about doing something proactive about crime by giving kids someone to look up to. It’s about help kids feel loved by Jesus because a caring adult is showing them His love on a consistent basis.

When all of this comes together kids will want to be more like Christ in their schools today and be the kind of adults that our world will desperately need them to be in the next generation.

How do your gather volunteers onto your children’s ministry team?

–Jeff

PS – You may want to check out my post on 3 Questions to Ask About a Potential Leader to help you get the right people on your team.

Cool Resource to Take Games in Kids’ Ministry to The Next Level

I’m always on the lookout for quality digital resources, especially when it comes to games for kids. Recently I came across this great one from the folks over at SimplyYouthMinistry.com called Spin that Wheel. It’s a customizable prize wheel. It’s great for prizes or challenges. It can really help add some fun to your up front group games.

From the website:

Spin That Wheel is a rockin large group interactive game. As a stand alone application, the software allows you to add up to 15 custom prizes to the wheel, then spin it to see what you get! (Wow, I just won a bag of Pork Rinds*) It has a random winner every time. Find yourself a great host, a really bad outfit, and you are in for a great night. *Prizes not included.

I’ve bought and used their products for my children’s ministry in the past. They do great work and all their stuff is super reliable. One of the things that I love about this particular resource is how fun and digitally based it is. This is something that will add a HUGE element of cool to any game/prize time that you have during your programs and events.

What resources/tips have you used to make games “funner” and cooler in your children’s ministry? Post them in the comment section.

–Jeff

PS: I was NOT supplied with a free copy of this resource or asked/paid by anyone to give a review of it. I saw it, I liked it, and wanted to pass it on to you. Hope it’s helpful.

1 Simple Action That Will Help You Avoid Up To 80% of Your Mistakes

invisible hurdle

Well, maybe not 80%, but it’ll help you avoid a lot more of them.

If you follow me on twitter you may have seen me tweet this last week:

Handed out books for my #KidMin team to read together only to find out that they already read it with another leader. Doh! #leadershipfail

I hate it when I make stupid mistakes like this. Now I’ve got a bunch of copies of Forgotten God that I don’t need (hey, maybe I’ll do a giveaway on the blog next Tuesday), I spent money that I didn’t need to, and felt a little foolish in front of my team. It’s certainly not the worst mistake I’ve ever made, but it all could have easily been avoided if I had just asked a few simple questions.

I think that’s why we fail more than maybe we need to. The secret to avoiding a lot of our mistakes is simply to ask better questions more often. If I had taken the time to ask my team and their former boss (who is my current leader) what they had read together I could have saved myself the time, money, and embarrassment.

Now don’t get me wrong; mistakes are inevitable. As we try new things we’re bound to miss the mark from time to time. That’s normal. That’s just a part of life. But some of our mistakes can be avoided and some of our lessons don’t always need to be learned the hard. If we take make the time to ask better questions more often we’ll still be able to get where need to go, minus some of the heartburn.

Learn all you can from the mistakes of others. You won’t have time to make them all yourself. -Alfred Sheinwold

What’s a mistake that you’ve made recently and what did you learn from it? Post them in the comment section below.

–Jeff

5 Things a Children’s Ministry Leader Has to Do Every Day

Starting block

I’m sure there are more than five, but here are the ones that I want to focus on this season in my ministry:

1. Nurture your soul
Every single day I want to spend time nurturing my soul by spending time with God. While I wouldn’t hesitate to tell you that this is the most important thing, sadly it is often times the easiest to neglect. I seem to be able to run on my own power for a short time but my soul yearns for more. Lasting over the long haul requires a consistent time to reconnect and refuel with my maker.

2. Engage in a plan for personal growth
This can be as simple as reading a chapter of a book, listening to a podcast, skimming a few blogs, or spending time with a caring mentor. Like a good exercise routine it’s wise to change-up what you do from day-to-day to stave off boredom. Check out the links page of my blog to help you get started.

3. Connect with your team
This is definitely a place where a little energy should be spent every day as well. Recently I changed how I meet with my staff so that we can spend more time together, both on work stuff and fun relational time. If you don’t have a paid team taking a few minutes to send them a text, post something on their Facebook wall, or grabbing a cup of coffee are all great ways to stay connected.

4. Let families know that you’re still out there
This would have been really hard to pull off ten years ago, but in today’s world of twitter and Facebook it’s much easier to do. Send out a daily status update to keep parents in the loop, make sure that your website is up to date, or send out an encouraging tweet. These are all small but powerful ways to show families that you care.

5. Have fun
Take a break! Watch a sitcom and laugh out loud today. Bookmark Dave Barry’s blog. Laugh with your kids – maybe play a game at dinner. Let your hair down; it might be just the thing you need to get over the hurdle and help you relax after dealing with a difficult situation.

What else should a children’s ministry leader do on a daily basis?

–Jeff