Have you ever had someone give you a look, say something a certain way, or not respond to a message—and you couldn’t stop wondering if they were upset with you?
A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I were having some conversations with some other couples. We were asked if we could be a part of something, but with our schedule, we’re just not really able to do it. It wasn’t a good idea for us.
So I simply said, “Hey, I’m not able to be a part of that. We’ve got a lot going on.”
I immediately noticed a look from the person asking. I knew they were disappointed, but there also seemed to be some frustration. At the time, I just made note of it.
Later, after my wife and I got home, I asked her, “Do you think the way I said no was rude? Did I come across as harsh or uncaring?”
My wife said, “No, I think you were fine.”
She’s pretty great about those kinds of things. If I do come across as rude, she’ll lovingly tell me—in private. She’ll say, “Hey, I think you need to go back and say that differently,” or, “Next time, try saying it this way.”
I’ve learned to really trust her in those moments because she won’t just tell me what I want to hear.
Even though I was encouraged to hear that I didn’t come across as rude, and I’ve since interacted with this person and we’ve had good conversations, there’s still a part of me that wonders if they’re angry with me or somehow disappointed in me.
I think that’s a pretty normal way to feel in our relationships.
We can tell by a change in someone’s tone, a look they give us, or when they don’t reply to a message. It’s easy for us to wonder if that person is angry at us.
I don’t think this only happens in our relationships with people. I think it happens in our relationship with God, too.
Sometimes we wonder:
- Is God mad at me?
- Is He disappointed in me?
- I keep struggling with the same issue. Is God going to be frustrated if I ask for prayer for the hundredth time?
- Is He disappointed because I haven’t been to church enough?
- Because my quiet times have been short—or maybe I haven’t been having them at all?
As believers, I think it’s normal for us to have those thoughts from time to time. But what do we do when those feelings show up?
What Romans 5:1 Reminds Us
In Romans 5:1, the Apostle Paul writes: “Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.”
A couple of things stand out to me here.
First, the Greek word for peace means harmony and reconciliation. It isn’t just talking about a feeling of peace. It’s describing the reality that a relationship that was once broken has now been restored.
Then Paul tells us why we have that peace: “…because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.”
What Paul is emphasizing is this:
We’re made right with God because of Christ’s work, not ours.
Now, Paul isn’t saying we have some kind of “get out of jail free” card where we can live however we want because Jesus already paid for it.
Rather, he’s saying that when we miss the mark—and we all do—we don’t have to earn our way back to God.
We’re invited back into a right relationship as His sons and daughters.
A Question to Consider
Is there an area of your life where you’re trying to earn God’s favor?
Maybe you’re trying to earn His love through:
- Your finances
- Your spiritual disciplines
- How much ministry you’re doing
- Or something else entirely
If so, I want to remind you of this truth:
We’re made right with God because of Christ’s work, not ours.
Jeff McClung 