A few years ago I remember meeting a sort of well-know pastor. He was a great speaker. His people really loved him. His congregation was growing. By church world standards he had accomplished a lot.

So I was surprised to find out his family hates him.

That may sound harsh, but its true. They genuinely couldn’t stand him. It was awkward just to be around them because you could almost feel the hate.

Do you know a family like that? Mom or dad are successful at their job but are terrible at home. You may respect their work, but you feel sad about their home.

This happens a lot.

If you’re a pastor be careful you don’t make this mistake:

Pastoring other people’s families more than parenting your own

It’s an easy mistake to make.

When you help a family in your church they’re pretty grateful (most times). But at home it’s different.

When you help with homework, cleaning, and advice you don’t usually get the same kind of praise you can get at church. You’re not Pastor there. You’re husband and dad. It’s the norm.

But that doesn’t make it less special.

At the end of your life people won’t praise you for your sermons (because they probably won’t remember many of them). But they’ll always remember how your family remembers you. What do you want them to say?

As great as it is to pastor families, it’s greater to pastor your family.


3 thoughts on “The Mistake Most Pastors Make

  1. Thanks for the post Jeff. This specific topic amongst other themes is mentioned on Paul David Tripp’s book ‘A Dangerous Calling’ which I highly recommend if you have not read it already.

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