Helping Parents Lead Their Family Well Starts with Leading Your Family Well

As Children’s Ministry leaders all of us want to help parents win at home. But sometimes, if we’re not careful, that can come at the expense of our own family. I was reminded about this as I was studying for my ordination council last year when I came back to this Scripture:

Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. ² Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, ³ not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. ⁴ He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. ⁵ (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) – 1 Timothy 3:1-5 (NIV)

For us Family Ministry types here’s what I think Paul is saying:

You ministry to families starts with ministering to your family.

Pretty simple, right?

Not always.

I’m ashamed to admit this, but sometimes it’s easier to deal with other parents’ problems than my own parenting problems.

Sometimes it’s easier to help a husband fix his marriage than exert the energy to fix my own marriage.

And sometimes it’s easier for me to tell a parent to increase the quantity of time they spend with their kids than it is for me to increase the quantity of time I spend with mine.

Not sure if I’m alone on this one or not. But maybe some of you can relate.

As I’m learning how to do this better here are a few questions I’m keeping in front of me right now:

1. Am I the kind of person the person I am married to is glad they are married to?

2. Is there a lack of attention at home that is creating tension in my home?

3. Is the love I’m showing to my family right now making it easier or harder for them to love me?

I’m sure there are other, better questions, to be asking. But these are the ones that are really helping me live out this principle that my ministry to families starts with ministering to my family.

How are you showing your family they are more important to you than any other family?