Being a leader is risky business.

When I say “risky business” I don’t mean to confuse you into thinking that this post is somehow about the 1983 Tom Cruise movie. There are probably some parallels but that’s a topic for another time.

I took my first real leadership position back in 2003. Those first two years were the toughest for me as I struggled to find my place in the office (mainly because I didn’t get an office for the first year) as well as with my volunteers. Newly married and fresh out of college, I had no real clue what I should be doing. Thankfully, I had a caring mentor who helped me to figure things out.

The realities of your industry may be very different from mine but there are some universal things that, no matter what group or organization you lead, all leaders face. Here are the first three disciplines that will help you to become a better leader regardless of what environment you are in:

1. Lead yourself exceptionally well. You can’t lead others well without first leading yourself with excellence. Balancing your personal life with work and advancing your inner world are key ingredients in the recipe of leadership. Nobody wants to follow you if you are easily angered, moody, undisciplined, unlikable, or clueless at your job. Leading at work starts with leading yourself well throughout the day and leading your family with love at home during the week. Meditating, reading good books, eating right, exercising, and having fun with your family and friends are all ways to add value to the quality of your life.

Recommended Resource: “Ordering Your Private World” by Gordon Mc Donald.

2. Lighten your leader’s load. Perhaps the most important relationship that you will have in your organization is with your boss. Now this may sound weird or contrary to some of you because you may rarely interact with them but how the two of you get along can set the mood in your environment. Your peers and team can sense when there’s tension between you and your leader. You don’t need to be best friends but it is so crucial to the success of your team (and your job security) that you get along. Keeping them in the loop of what you’re doing, not taking up too much of their time, encouraging them, helping them with their tasks, and doing your job well are all ways that you can work well together.

Recommended Resource: “Developing the Leader Within You” by John Maxwell.

3. Cultivate great relationships with your peers. Everybody needs at least one good friend at work. These are the people who will help you when your closing in on that deadline, brainstorm ideas to solve that big problem, and support you when you’re having a bad day. Good leaders have buddies at work. Great leaders have friends who complement what they do and watch their back when the chips are down. Avoiding office politics, letting the best idea win, helping them solve problems, and giving credit away are all ways to cultivate depth with your peers.

Recommended Resource: “How to Win Friends and Influence Others” by Dale Carnegie.

Today I focused on the first three disciplines that will help you lead yourself and influence your boss and peers well. Tomorrow I’ll focus on the disciplines that will help you to build and maintain and cohesive leadership team.

How’s are you doing, really? Are you and your boss getting along? How are you doing making connections in your organization?

–Jeff