Picking up where we left off in Part 1, here are 5 more people you’ll (unfortunately) meet in line at the grocery store:
6. The Price Checker
No, the numbers on the price tag did not suddenly rearrange themselves when you picked it up like letters on your iPhone do when you shake it playing Words With Friends. The cashier is not your doctor, so please don’t make him ask the manager for a second opinion on the price of Cap’n Crunch, OK?
7. The Phone Multi-Tasker
Apparently he is emailing Jack Bauer the abort code for a thermonuclear device that’s been planted by terrorists and about to go off on aisle 5 in 2 minutes. At least that’s the only kind of email I can think of that would warrant bringing a line full of people with perishable goods to a screeching halt.
8. The Magazine Reader
This person is apparently confusing the line here at Stater Bros with the mini Starbucks that’s tucked aways inside Barnes and Noble. No, no, you finish that article on Lady Gaga. I don’t spend enough time waiting in lines anyway. You just take your time and enjoy. I’ll wait.
9. The Coupon Collector
This person has enough coupons stockpiled to make George Costanza’s wallet look like a Four Spiritual Laws Tract. No human being should have single-handedly amassed such a vast assortment of dead tree paraphernalia.
10. The Express Lane Violator (courtesy of Tripp & Tyler)
Who did I leave out?