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If you’ve been in children’s ministry longer than 3 nanoseconds, chances are good that there’s a couple of people who really frustrate you. I’m not talking about the kid who seems to need to go to the bathroom every 7 minutes or the mom who forgot her claim ticket. No, I’m talking about the people who give you the kind of headaches that make you wish that Costco sold Excedrin in bulk like they do toilet paper.

Much like the classic children’s game Clue (it’s Colonel Mustard, with the candlestick, in the Conservatory), it’s important to know ahead of time who these people are going to be. Over the years I’ve noticed that there are 5 types of people who drive me crazy in children’s ministry. What’s more, I’ve noticed that you’ll find at least three of these five people in just about every children’s ministry you go to. Whether you’ve been in CM for 10 days or 10 years, I think you need to read:

THE FIVE PEOPLE WHO WILL FRUSTRATE IN CHILDREN’S MINISTRY AND HOW TO LOVE THEM:

1. The Takes-Too-Much-Of-Your-Time Mom

This is the parent who is more involved in your life than your actual parents were growing up. They’re the ones who take you to task about how you don’t use enough flannel graph in your teaching, why you refused to accept their generous gift of the “Kids’ Klassic Bible Stories” on Betamax, or when their kids have “too much fun” at church. While you try to get along with her you’ll find yourself more and more not returning her emails and calls by making up silly excuses like, “Did you call me? I never got the message. That is so weird! Must’ve been a planetary alignment this week, ’cause you know I would’ve called you back to set up a time to pick up that Psalty costume from you. The 6th graders really love it when I dress up like a giant book that talks to them.”

2. The Flakey Volunteer

Are you really showing up to the 9:00am service at 9:45am? REALLY?! Am I upset, you ask? Why would I be upset?! Just because I’ve got to do all of my normal stuff and pick up all the balls that you keep dropping doesn’t mean that I’m upset. I love it when undependable people continually swear they will be on time next time and yet somehow they are always late. It’s that kind of reckless abandon and lack of consideration for your fellow human beings that has really endeared me to you. Kudos to you sir, kudos!

3. The Nagging Church Secretary

This is the secretary from you-know-where, who thinks it’s their personal mission in life to tell you how to do your job and to make you feel guilty whenever you don’t live up to their unspoken (and unrealistic) expectations of who you are supposed to be. Yes, I forgot to get a receipt from Wal-Mart for those crayons that cost $3.17. I’m sorry! I’m not sure it was really necessary to yell at me in front of the whole staff about it. I don’t think that it’s going to plunge the church into an inescapable mountain of debt that would make Dave Ramsey pee his pants in sheer horror. Everything is going to be OK. Deep breaths, everyone, deep breaths.

SIDE NOTE: Thankfully, the current secretary I have is an organizational ninja and doesn’t treat me like crap when I occasionally screw-up. This has not always been the case at my previous jobs.

4. The Know-It-All Staffer

Thank God you’re here! Why if you hadn’t kept interrupting my actual work every 30 minutes with your unsolicited advice on how to do my job, I don’t know what fate would have befallen our children’s ministry! Human sacrifices, cats and dogs living together…mass hysteria! Thank you ever so much. Oh, and in the spirit of mutually shared ideas, here’s some thoughts I had about how YOU can do your job better (didn’t think you’d mind)…

5. The Out-of-Control Kid

You know who I’m talking about. He’s the kid that you secretly hope doesn’t show up and, when he does, wreaks havoc on your weekend and very last nerve. Sure, he may be part of God’s plan to teach you patience but couldn’t God just recommend a really good book for you to read? There must be a more effective way for Billy’s mom to teach him proper social etiquette than to drop him off at church for two services while she gets caught up on laundry.

Here’s the think that I remind myself about the people who frustrate me: They really don’t mean to. Really they don’t. But some of them are scared and some of them don’t feel listened to. Some of them have had some pretty tough breaks and just need some help and grace. This doesn’t mean that you should always give them their way.The more upset that you want to get with them the more grace you probably need to show them.

REMEMBER: The people around you can’t learn that they matter just from the Bible. They also need to learn it from how you treat them.

–Jeff

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