Have you ever been asked when you’re going to become a REAL Pastor? I have. Lots of times. It usually comes from some well-meaning person trying to give you a compliment after teaching in “Big Church”, or performing a wedding, funeral, or something like that. Instead of feeling all warm and fuzzy inside you feel like they just hocked a loogie in your soup, expect you to eat it, and then say, “That was delicious! May I have some more please?” No thanks.
SIDE NOTE: Do you eat or drink soup? It’s a liquid so there’s not really any chewing involved but sometimes theres crackers in it and you have to use a spoon. I just don’t know.
You try not to show your hurt but in that one moment they’ve communicated something to you: what you do with kids doesn’t matter as much as what the “real” pastors do with adults. It’s hard not to feel that this verbal punch to the throat, while not intended to demean, provides a very telling commentary on modern Christianity. Most people in the church think of Children’s and Youth Ministry as babysitting and we, as their leaders, are doing nothing more than just playing house.
What should you do when the dreaded question comes your way?
Sometimes I just smile and use my fake laugh to pretend that their offensive comment was funny to me. Other times (when I’m in a fighting mood) I’ll say something stupid like, “What do you mean by ‘real’ pastor? Why it says I’m a pastor right here on my business card. See? I don’t know what you’re trippin’ on, Mr. Belvedere, but I AM a real pastor, thank you very much!” This response is always awkward since I have never talked to anybody in my entire life who’s last name is Belvedere, and when I try to explain the “Mr. Belvedere” reference to them they usually get offended (especially the ladies).
On good days, though, the days that I’m most proud of I’ll give a more thoughtful response like this:
Actually, [insert the person's real name], I really like what I do. I get to hang out with kids and get paid for it. They are some of the coolest people on the planet! I also get to work with some of my favorite people: our CM staff and volunteers. I get to be a child’s hero and help other adults be heroes to the kids in our church. When you give yourself to help kids live for God you are making a unique difference in the world and there is nothing quite like it. Why just the other day [insert story of a child and family's life who's been positively affected by you and your ministry].
If that doesn’t work then I’ll say, “Look, a distraction!” and take off running (which is hard to do with my bum knee but I always try anyway).
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I agree!!! I hate that question and it always gets asked when I’m already having a bad day. Also I hate when people ask what I’ve done all week. I usually make a joke and walk away, but if caught at the right moment I will sometimes give them a huge list of things and say what have you done for God this week or ever! I’m of course just kidding most of the time I taking it on the chin and say “please sir may I have some more?”. Then avoid that person like they have the plague. HAHA! I love Kid’s Ministry and I’m living the dream so it’s easy to let this offenses go. Most people work a job they done love and don’t know how to deal with someone who loves their job. But I love Sam Luce’s Tweet “@JeffMcClung I usually just punch them in the throat, and tell them I hope they get to see a “real” doctor very soon.” So Funny
I totally hear ya Terry. I thought Sam’s idea was funny and I’d be lying if I said I never felt like doing that sometimes. It’s good to know that God views us as real pastors even if others don’t. That keeps me going.
Thankfully, I have never experienced this – at the moment our Awana attendance is on the verge of outgrowing our Sunday morning adult attendance! But my perspective is very much in line with you, Jeff: I’m called to teach kids, and I love it. I get to play music that would give the adults a heart attack; kids are quick to hug, give a high-five, or warm my heart with a smile; I get to see kids from all walks of life gain a foundation that will serve them the rest of their lives (scratch that – the rest of eternity!). Why would I want to be a “real” pastor when I have all this?
Besides, my pastor and I have a great relationship. We are each doing what we are called to do, and it’s extremely satisfying to be right where God wants you. Neither one of us wants the other’s job!
It’s alway great when the right people are in the right places at the right time. I’m in a pretty similar situation right now with my boss and leadership team but I know that’s a rare thing for a lot of other CM leaders out there.