Monthly Archives: November 2010

30 Things I’ve Learned At 30, Pt. 2 of 3

Happy 30th Birthday

Yesterday I turned 30. To help all of us celebrate the anniversary of my umbilical cord separation, I decided to write down 30 big lessons that I’ve learned about life and Children’s Ministry (click here to read 1 – 10). So here are lessons 11 – 20 of “30 Things I’ve Learned At 30″ (yes, unfortunately, some of these are from my actual real life experiences):

11. Always have at least one pair of unisex clothes for a child to change in to. You never know when a kid may pee their pants right in the middle of your preteen worship set and stand there awkwardly in the dark until one of your leaders comes to the rescue (5 minutes later). It’s a major downer on the rest of your night. This principle can also be applied to old people.

12. Never confirm or deny the existence of Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, or any other mythical being that brings gifts to children. Don’t even joke about it when you think they are out of range. I guarantee you that some kid WILL hear it and tell their mom on you. From then on they will simply refer to you as the Santa-Slayer.

13. Never confirm or deny the existence of Pet Heaven. It’s a theological sticking-ground that is best left alone. It will only crush the kid whose pet hamster Gilligan has just died. You want to be careful of that because chances are good that he is also the same kid that you just ruined Christmas for by telling him that there’s no creepy old guy breaking into his house at night to eat his cookies and leave him presents after watching his every move all year-long (AKA Santa Clause). You also don’t want to give any more ammo to that one kid who delights in tying cats together by their tails and hanging them on a clothes line. He is need of some serious psychiatric help that no one at the church is qualified to give.

14. Peanut Butter is like kid kryptonite. Too many kids are allergic and it’s better to just stay away from it altogether, unless you really like taking trips to the ER and explaining to parents why you let their kid’s face blow up like Bloat in “Finding Nemo.”

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30 Things I’ve Learned At 30, Pt. 1 of 3

202/365 # . . . Hello thirties

Today is a big day in my life. Today I turn 30; the big three-oh. I’ve learned a lot of great lessons about life and Children’s Ministry in those years, mainly though trial and error. So to help all of us celebrate the anniversary of my umbilical cord separation here are lessons 1 – 10 of “30 Things I’ve Learned At 30″ (yes, unfortunately, some of these are from my actual real life experiences):

1. Don’t put soda in the freezer. The can will explode and your wife will make you clean it up and it will take you a long time.

2. People always get angry at funerals when you forget the name of their loved, one especially if you are the pastor performing the service (so I’m told).

3. Kids are like the mafia: you forget their name just once, and you’re dead to them for life.

4. When you dislocate your knee while teaching in your preteen ministry, don’t tell the atheist doctor in the ER that you’re a pastor. He’ll make you wait a really long time before he puts your knee back in place and “forget” to give you any morphine. You can scream in pain all you want, but he won’t care.

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Multi-Site Children’s Ministry Playbook

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikolaj-surf/3111305881/

I just finished putting together our Children’s Ministry’s new organizational structure here at High Desert Church. We are currently a multi-site church at two campuses with the hopes of going to three by this time next year. With so much going on I thought it would be a good idea to put the basics down on paper in order to provide a little bit of clarity to me and our team. Here’s a bit of the low-down of how we’re starting to do things here at HDC Kids to be more effective:

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